FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
