She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
