When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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