My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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