at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
