This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Randomize
