Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
