There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
