Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
