You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
