i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize