stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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