i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
