maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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