i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
