He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
