Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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