i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I have fence marks all over my body
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
