Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
