I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
