i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
