I want to stick my p in your. b.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
