he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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