Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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