is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
