And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
So squirting runs in the family.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
