Dual....:-)
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
