She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
