Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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