i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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