I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just gift wrapped bread.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Randomize