i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
