plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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