I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize