I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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