The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
