glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
