According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize