Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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