long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Randomize
