I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
