We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
