She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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