i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
