I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
