Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
