belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
