unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
