Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize