Plan B is the new Plan A
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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