So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
