fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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