4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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