RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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