dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
