Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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