just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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