Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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