He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize