new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
