Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Say something about gay babies.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
