what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
