Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
