dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
