I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
