You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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