She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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