This dress was meant to end up on your floor
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
